Boonlert’s Boondoggle

Retired Thai General and extreme royalist fruitcake Boonlert Kaewprasit has goose stepped into the political spotlight and possibly something else.  

General Boonlert Kaewprasit

As the organizer of a pro-military coup movement, he has his fascist crew called Pitak Siam leading a parade of virtually all the ugly Nazi-like groups in Thailand against the democratically elected government.

These groups include the Group of 40 Senators, Dr. Tul’s multi-colored group/Network of Citizen Volunteers Protecting the Land, the Siam Sammakhi nutjobs, Network of Monarchy Protection Volunteers, and even Santi Asoke’s Dhamma Army. I suppose we can call this a “movement” if we associate the word “bowel” with it.

General Boonlert's latest numbskull plan is to try to mobilize at least 1 million people to gather at the Royal Plaza next weekend in an attempt to topple the government by triggering a military coup.  

Why do these idiots bother to organize and participate in mass demonstrations?  After all, they can vote (although they don’t believe in voting), and public opinion surveys convey their views on public issues. A mass demonstration symbolizes something more than popular opinion to governments, to other citizens and to the demonstrators themselves. When citizens assemble, they signal an intensity of commitment, a tangible collective strength that is absent in the voting booth or on the poll-taker’s clipboard and the more “massive” the demonstration, the more intensive the signal.

With apologies to the Military, Democrats, and the Privy Council, the most massive and wackiest of all the fascist groups in Thailand is the People’s Alliance for Democracy (PAD). They have “opened the floodgates”… or to be more sensitive to the Thai flood victims last year and more descriptive of the PAD followers, they have “opened the cattle gates.”

The Grand Poobahs of the PAD have cancelled the group’s political activities (hate speeches, terrorism, propaganda, etc…) for the weekend of Nov 24-25 to allow its supporters to join Boonlert’s pro-coup rally planned by the Pitak Siam group.  Maj-Gen Chamlong Srimuang, a PAD core leader and fanatical nut job, announced that PAD leaders will not take part in the Pitak Siam rally, but will give it moral support and that “rank and file supporters could take part at their own discretion, as is their right under the constitution.”

I think the irony is lost on the PAD. Even though their name suggests that they are “for democracy”, they support military coups against a democratically elected government. They’re proud to exercise their constitutional right to protest, albeit to overthrow the same constitution which gives them that right.

Nevertheless, even with the addition of the PAD members, will this be enough paste-eating morons to make Boonlert’s fascist dream come true of rallying a million pro coup supporters? Does Boonlert have a snowball’s chance in Bangkok that there will be 1 million people at the Royal Plaza?

One million people is a “shoot the moon” number by Boonlert and is simply unreasonable.  For one thing, it’s physically impossible to cram that many idiots in an area the size of the Royal plaza. Boonlert is obviously unaware of how much space is required to hold 1 million or even 100,000 demonstrators. 

Firstly, he needs to know the area of the space he plans to have his fascist rally. The Royal Plaza does look like a large area. Of course, there’s the large King Rama V Equestrian Statue which takes up some space (BTW, for those "looky loos" who will attend:  if there is PAD around you should avoid the area near the statue based upon past history). There is also the need for some of the area to be taken up by a stage and a segregated VIP area. Also, some of the area will be taken up by things like medical stations and “PAD think tanks” (in the US, we more commonly refer to them as “porta potties”). 

PAD Think Tanks

I’m going to be generous, though, and state that the Royal Plaza offers an area of about 140,000 square feet for a mob (yes, I looked it up). 

Bangkok's Royal Plaza

Next, he needs to know about crowd density. Near the front of a rally, people may stand shoulder to-shoulder and belly-to-buttocks. One person per 2 square feet is about the density of a packed elevator or sky train car, leaving hardly any space to wriggle through. Packed elevator rides are mercifully brief, but rallies last much longer. People shift their weight, twist and turn, sit and even walk around.

Further away from the stage, 2.5 square feet per person is akin to each person standing on the front page of “The Nation” newspaper. Toward the side and rear edges of a gathering, 5 square feet per person gives each the equivalent of two pages of “The Nation” newspaper, allowing slow passage through the crowd with repeated apologies. On the gathering’s margins, 10 square feet per person allows passage by zigzagging through at a measured pace without touching anyone.

The following table gives values for the “mob” capacity of some familiar spaces.

So even if the mob at the rally were crammed in close together and stood more or less perfectly still, they would at best only hit only 56,000.  And if these fascists think that they can fit one million of their ilk in the Royal Plaza then they must have their head up each other’s asses.

Wait a minute!!! "Heads up each other's asses." Now there’s an idea to fit more fascist yellow shirts into Royal Plaza by "going vertical" and increasing the number of people which can fit in a confined area. 

These Thai generals may be smarter than I give them credit for...  Not!