Printing a short poem or message honoring the King on his
birthday, December 5th, is fairly routine and traditional for newspapers
in Thailand. However, this year there was some
controversy concerning a poem printed by one very respected newspaper,
Matichon.
It was a short four-line poem printed without
attribution but all hell broke loose in online social networks, with angry royalist
nutjobs posting comments bashing or condemning the newspaper. Most of those who were critical of the poem
felt the content was ambiguous and none of it could be seen as praising or honoring
the King.
One of the critics who railed against the poem and the
newspaper in particular included Suravich Virawan, executive editor of the ASTV
cable channel and someone with absolutely no clue on the values of poetry. He questioned why the poem was written in an ambiguous fashion which could be
interpreted in different and negative ways.
He also noted that similar poems which were printed by
the newspaper in the past for the occasion were quite straightforward,
meaningful and easy to understand.
Reinforcing December 7th as a day of infamy, Sondhi
Limthongkul appeared on ASTV grumbling about the poem. The Manager Group proprietor and year-round
fruitcake said the poem in question looked all right if the reader simply
glanced through it.
But, he said, if one carefully read through it to find
out the true meaning of the poem, the ambiguous nature of the writing could be
misinterpreted, or might suggest the unnamed writer might have wanted to
criticize the King.
The former leader of the yellow-shirt People's Alliance
for Democracy and current poster boy for abortion, then suggested the newspaper
might have already been bought by the "Man in Dubai".
Also, issuing critical points of view were some of
the other dregs of Thai society; pop singers. They published their responses to
the poem in the most respected and intellectually accepted media in Thailand; Facebook.
Pop singer Billy Ogan posted his own poem condemning
both the poem and Matichon, likening them to a dog.
Not to be outdone in idiocy, pop singer Kalyakorn Naksompop wrote
on her Facebook page that there was no need to write in a cryptic or ambiguous
fashion if the intention was to praise someone or wish him well. She added the newspaper would have been better off not
writing anything at all if it did not want to honor the King.
The criticisms prompted the Matichon editorial department
to issue a statement through its website in defense of the controversial poem.
It said there was no ulterior motive on the part of the newspaper or the writer
of the poem to offend the King.
Now I don’t want to get too involved in this poetry
controversy. It is, after all, their king and their poetry.
Besides, I’m too involved nowadays with the holiday
season here. Ironically, it is also the celebration of the birthday of a king –
the King of kings to be exact. That’s
why we have Santa Claus, decorated trees, singing, etc…
Like during the King of Thailand’s birthday, we also have
poetry for Christmas and nothing brings out the spirit of the holidays when the
family all gathers around and I read a Christmas poem to them.
So, in honor of the festive holiday season, I’d like to
share a traditional Christmas poem which brings cheer to my family and I hope it brings
cheer to you as well. It’s not cryptic
or ambiguous but I’m fairly certain that Sondhi is not going to like it. But
who cares? He knows as much about poetry
as he does about democracy.
Twas a Sondhi
Night Before Christmas
Twas the night before
Christmas, when all through the land
Nothing was stirring, not even the third hand.
The generals were sleeping, retired ones too.
Those arrogant bastards were dreaming of coup.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Christmas danced in their heads.
But I waited until I heard nary a peep,
Then I settled in bed for a much deserved sleep.
When out in the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The lights on the street with their bright yellow glow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
“I just don’t believe it,” I said to myself,
“There’s some kind of deranged, goofy looking elf. “
Weaving between cars and against traffic flow,
In a crude little wagon pulled by four buffalo.
More yellow than lemons and more stupid they claim,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Phipbob! Now Chamlong! Now Boonlert and Tul!
It’s all for the King. Try much harder and pull!
To the front of the porch! To the front of the wall!
Now plod away! Plod away! Plod away all!"
And then after a short and relative calm,
The front door exploded from a ping pong ball bomb.
You wouldn’t have guessed who next entered the room,
Sondhi the Terrorist of Suvarnabhumi.
From his head to his feet, he was dressed in all yellow.
He looked very scary, a despicable fellow.
Afraid for my children and even my spouse,
I yelled “this is my home, not the Government House!”
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Wrecking our home, that fat facist jerk.
Nothing was stirring, not even the third hand.
The generals were sleeping, retired ones too.
Those arrogant bastards were dreaming of coup.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Christmas danced in their heads.
But I waited until I heard nary a peep,
Then I settled in bed for a much deserved sleep.
When out in the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The lights on the street with their bright yellow glow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below.
“I just don’t believe it,” I said to myself,
“There’s some kind of deranged, goofy looking elf. “
Weaving between cars and against traffic flow,
In a crude little wagon pulled by four buffalo.
More yellow than lemons and more stupid they claim,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Phipbob! Now Chamlong! Now Boonlert and Tul!
It’s all for the King. Try much harder and pull!
To the front of the porch! To the front of the wall!
Now plod away! Plod away! Plod away all!"
And then after a short and relative calm,
The front door exploded from a ping pong ball bomb.
You wouldn’t have guessed who next entered the room,
Sondhi the Terrorist of Suvarnabhumi.
From his head to his feet, he was dressed in all yellow.
He looked very scary, a despicable fellow.
Afraid for my children and even my spouse,
I yelled “this is my home, not the Government House!”
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Wrecking our home, that fat facist jerk.
He smashed into our tree and
the ornaments broke,
Is this what he learned from the Santi Asoke?
His eyes were glazed over! His breath smelled of booze!
He acted quite crazy, like his mind blew a fuse!
He called me a name and stuck out his tongue,
He was a very rude man, that fat piece of dung.
He started to chuckle as he broke wind with glee,
Taking all the presents and even the tree.
Quickly making an exit where once was our door,
He was fully loaded and he could carry no more!
He sprang to his wagon, to his team gave a hoot,
And away they all went pulling that fascist galoot.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"I love the King so this makes it all right!"
Is this what he learned from the Santi Asoke?
His eyes were glazed over! His breath smelled of booze!
He acted quite crazy, like his mind blew a fuse!
He called me a name and stuck out his tongue,
He was a very rude man, that fat piece of dung.
He started to chuckle as he broke wind with glee,
Taking all the presents and even the tree.
Quickly making an exit where once was our door,
He was fully loaded and he could carry no more!
He sprang to his wagon, to his team gave a hoot,
And away they all went pulling that fascist galoot.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"I love the King so this makes it all right!"
The children were shaking
and filled with great fright.
They had just witnessed a horrible sight.
Their presents were gone.
They didn’t know why.
They thought they’d miss
Christmas and started to cry.
But the crying all ceased
when reassured by their mother,
“He didn’t take everything,
we still have each other.”
It was then and there when
we discovered the reason
and the meaning of Christmas
and the holiday season.
Christmas is more than a
tree or a toy.
It’s about love, happiness,
giving and joy.
These are all things Sondhi
can’t carry away.
Keep them close to your
heart and you’ll have Christmas Day.
It’s peace on Earth, good will
towards men.
Practice this and you’ll always
win,
The wrong will fail, there’s
no need to dread.
Santa doesn’t wear yellow, Santa
wears red.
 |
| And Santa Says to Free Somyot! Merry Christmas! |
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