My Hex on Prayuth

Evidently The Thai army believes it needs the help of magic talismans to protect itself from Cambodian soldiers.

The chief of the 2nd Army, Thawatchai Smutsakhon, last Friday distributed assorted talismans to his troops stationed at the disputed border area to help protect them from evil Khmer curses which he believes Cambodians are likely to call upon in their fight over disputed border areas.

As a result, soldiers guarding the border with Cambodia are now equipped with guns and talismans.

"I believe in this and I have to take care of my subordinates in every possible way," Lt Gen Thawatchai said. He also said the talismans were meant to prevent black magic reaching them. Some troops believe the Cambodians are involved in occult practices.

An army source stationed at the border said he believed Cambodian troops would perform "some kind of rituals" on Preah Vihear temple to counter the army's distribution of talismans to its troops.

Then on Monday, when two Royal Thai Air Force F16s mysteriously fell out of the air into a forest in Chaiyaphum province, to some people the cause the crash was obvious.

“It must have been black magic,” they said. Thai F16s were spotted last Thursday near the Cambodian border and the Cambodians are known for their expertise in the supernatural, so the planes were probably cursed in some way.

Air Force spokesman Monthon Satchukorn quickly brushed aside that rumor. "Do not believe in this sort of thing,” he said. “I can't see how the crash could be related to black magic. This is science: an engine problem perhaps, not superstition."

Maybe Monthon shouldn’t be too quick to discount the black magic theory. In 2007 the Thai Air Force had Jatukham Rammathep good luck charms in their F-16s and F-5s and I don’t recall any F-16s crashing back then.

Jatukham Rammathep is the name of an unusually popular amulet sold in Thailand. The amulet is believed to provide good fortune and protection against black magic to the bearer.

Now some of my fellow Orange Shirt colleagues believe in black magic.  In fact, our New Orleans chapter of the AOF has been actively participating in American VooDoo magic ceremonies against Sondhi Limthongkul and the PAD.  Our New Orleans chapter particularly hates the PAD.  They told me that their actions were in response to Sondhi’s admitted use of black magic by ceremonially placing six used sanitary pads around the Equestrian Statue of King Rama V in Bangkok in 2008. 

As for me, I’m not sure if I buy into all this black magic stuff or not. I don’t dismiss it and I certainly don’t wish any bad luck on any soldier… except for one:  mass murdering mad dog General Prayuth Chan-ocha.

And just in case there is something to this black magic warfare, I have designed my very own Prayuth Amulet.

My Prayuth Amulet is basic in design.  Prayuth is surrounded by thirteen feet.  This is both unlucky and offensive. But that is not enough for this murdering bastard. These are big American farang stinky feet with the bottom of each foot clearly facing Thailand’s leader. Also, each foot is pointing the middle toe at Prayuth, even more offensive. Of course, Prayuth is donning a Hitler moustache representing his Nazi-like behavior.  And, for the coup de grace there is a big steaming pile of poop on Prayuth’s head!

Whoops, maybe I shouldn’t use the word ‘coup’ around a Thai general. It makes them all giddy.

My idea for peace along the Thai/Cambodian border is to take away all the guns from the soldiers (both sides) and just give them talismans. Let them fight each other using black magic.  I couldn’t find anywhere in the Geneva Convention that witchcraft in warfare is prohibited.

In the interest of peace I’ll be happy to make a similar talisman for Hun Sen too. It's only fair.